you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
