Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
