scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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