Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
