dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
