Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
