butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
God, I missed his penis.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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