Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
