you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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