i think my mom watched the whole time
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
