i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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