i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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