He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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