Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
