When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We need a shit load of segways right now
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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