Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
