I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
