too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
