There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
