i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
