guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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