If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
