Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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