smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
