3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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