It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
