oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
cat food counts as protein by the way
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
