Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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