Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
