I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
