just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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