Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
