Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
