I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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