a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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