Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
