I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can't turn off my feet"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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