i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize