She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
