Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
