Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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