Your face is a jimmy john
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
