I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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