so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
