you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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