The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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