You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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