I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
