she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize