Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
