felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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