Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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