return my video game
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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