I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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