Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
