Well apparently he's into motor boating.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
